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1. |
Haunted House
04:13
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Oh my god
I’m not ready
To share
My life
With you
Or anyone
Oh my god
I can’t stop
Drinking now
I don’t want
To know
Anything
Climb up
My glass
Into
My head
Hold me
I’ve been looking at it
For four years
And I still don’t know
What it is
I can’t write about it
I was gone
The whole
Time
And the months
Will add themselves
While I’m wall eyed
Tonight
And every night
And I’m calling
To the void -
The void calls back
To me
I’m paralysed
I’ve been looking at it
For four years
And I still don’t know
What it is
I don’t know
How to
Begin
Again
Again
I’ve been hooked on thinking
It’s easier not to look
And I don’t care for caring
Or for being
Cared for
Oh my god
Oh my god
This feeling swallowed
Me whole
My body is
A haunted house
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2. |
Flannel Flowers
04:10
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I can see
So far
I can see
The whole backyard
I can see
So far
I can see
The neighbours house
Driving home
Long drive from the coast
Mum showed me where
Flannel flowers grow
Felt our car
Pull in to the drive
I kept eyes closed
Carried inside
You told me how
The stars go on forever
That are there things we’ll never know
and to count after lightning
To know how far away
It struck
My friend Mike’s
Head struck by that rock
We both threw them
My aim truer
In the park
A magpie swooped my head
I flew home as
scared as she was
You taught me how
I could be anything at all
So I became a dinosaur
Wearing flannel flowers
In her hair
I hope death
Is like coming home
Over the Blue Mountains
Stopping for chips
I hope death
Is like coming home
Back to the yard
With the tall smooth tree
Mum and dad
Will say come inside
But I’ll climb
So I can see
I can see
So far
I can see
The whole backyard
I can see
So far
I can see
The neighbours house
I can see
The world pulling back
No magpie
Will ever find me
I can see
So far
I don’t need to know
What comes next
I hope death
Is like coming home
Carried into bed
Knowing I am loved
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3. |
Be Not Afraid
04:04
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The mess
Is spreading out
I've lost
My keys
Again
My thoughts
A questing horror
Why did I come
Into
This room
I fear
My thoughts
Have become
A listless
Eldritch beast
Impotent
Omnipotential
I am afraid
To make amends
For all of
The ill portents
Spelling out
My mistakes
Ideas
Flash and fade
Like sizzling
In a pan
Empires
Of maybe then
Perennial lists
Are growing
Roots now
Are decades deep
An inflorescence
Avoidance fed
Impotent
Omnipotential
I am afraid
To make amends
For all of
The ill portents
Spelling out
My mistakes
Do not be afraid!
Behold!
Know that all is unmade
We come from nowhere
And go back
Do not be afraid!
Do not be afraid
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4. |
Chamomile Tea
03:35
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In Spring
With your back to me
Humming, cutting
Carefully casting
Chamomile flowers
Into a net
To be dried in the cupboard
Then kept in an old jar
In Autumn
Missing you
I open the jar lid -
A heady rush of spring!
You're away for work
The dog is snoring
I make the tea too hot
I drink it anyway
My chest is filled
By a memory I’m
Feeling my heart
Caught in my throat
Missing you
No space between
Spaces between
My chest is filled
By a memory I’m
Feeling my heart
Caught in my throat
Missing you
No space between
Spaces between
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5. |
Entanglement
05:33
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World of belonging
Feast of loveliest green
Firm among the light
Wild in the glen
All of that and then
A ringing
Pale of
Brightness
I’m not
Afraid
Of Death
But for
The dust
And the
Stillness
All that is well
And alive
Tangled up
Tightly spun
Warmed by the sun
Stirred by the wind
Lit from within
And dispersed
A ringing
Pale of
Brightness
I’m not
Afraid
Of Death
But for
The dust
And the
Stillness
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid
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Packwood Melbourne, Australia
Musician Bayden Hine has been performing under his middle name, Packwood, since 2010. In his new release Be Not Afraid, Packwood presents a reflection of the inner chaos so many Millennials grapple with, divulging his own personal journey with addiction and autism / ADHD, through poetic melodies and the occasional appearance of terrifying divine beings. ... more
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